I am a roundabout traveller. I travel round in circles – or semi circles – or quarter circles, to get to work. There are 8 roundabouts on my 15 minute journey! The first circle on my route is at the top of my road. This roundabout takes the very dodgy form of a small, slightly raised, white painted circle in the middle of a junction (which used to be called a crossroad) which is edged by grey oblong paviours. The layout of the junction is such that buses cannot travel correctly around it - they have to go the wrong side of it if they need to turn into one of the exits – very neat! Many drivers in smaller vehicles are too lazy to go all the way round this 6 foot diameter roundabout and go across it or, as the buses do, round the wrong side of it. This often causes accidents – well, that’s a no-brainer! Small heaps of broken headlight and stop light glass are often testament to this. But actually when I arrive (last) at this roundabout often all 3 of the other exits have a frozen rabbit motorist sitting in them – not knowing when, if or how to go! I get bored, I’m usually late for work and so I make an executive decision and go – then so do they! Next up is a rather larger roundabout in the middle of a dual carriageway –this just means that people waiting to leave their exits think they have more time to drive out in front of me without me actually hitting them. As many of these vehicles are huge lorries, their gamble pays off – I’ve made it a rule to never drive at anything bigger then my car!
Within several hundred yards is the third roundabout on my route – ditto the previous one – although, as it’s slightly smaller, the speeds of the roundabout louts are slower.
The next roundabout is huge! It has seven exits and the roundabout itself could usefully accommodate a small housing development – especially as Mr Prescott has ambitious plans to cram a few thousand more houses into the area – I’m surprised he hasn’t thought of it yet! Some time ago the people who decide these things decided we needed traffic lights on this roundabout – they were duly installed – erm… I thought roundabouts were a clever, modern way of doing away with the tailbacks that traffic lights caused? Anyway, after just a few weeks they were not working – a malfunctioning chip! Many people had complained about tailbacks – (I travel at peak times and never saw any) and the local MP voiced his dissatisfaction. Apparently, after the new chip was installed it was decided not to switch the lights back on and that was months ago – well, they only cost £600,000 of taxpayers' money - who cares? No-one has missed the lights and there haven’t been any traffic jams – the lights are still in position – but not switched on - I wonder just how much of our money all that has cost to date? We'll probably find out quite soon when we get our new Council Tax bills.
So, back to my journey – my fifth roundabout is average-sized – but obviously takes some people by surprise (well, it is in the middle of a dual carriageway) as there is evidence that they have crashed straight into it. The black and white chevron barrier on it has been flattened for months now – no-one seems in a hurry to replace it - no money probably - they spent it all on useless traffic lights. Within a couple of hundred yards is another roundabout – same size, same problems and the roundabout louts always want to pull out from my left, they never want to wait until I’ve passed them – they’re always pulling out and driving across my back bumper – assuming – stupidly - that I won’t need to brake for any reason as I drive on!
The sixth roundabout has flowerbeds and the name of a local church emblazoned across it – very strange indeed! This one is usually fairly calm – not much traffic from my right and usually no-one trying to pull out in front of me. Next and seventh one then, only a couple of hundred yards on – no problems except that the prevailing traffic cannot usually leave the roundabout due to jams on one of the exit roads. Almost at work - only another 2 roundabouts to go! Next one is quieter – only one exit off to get to the local supermarket and then I’m into work - one more small roundabout with high curbs, signs and barriers on it – you wouldn’t want to drive over that one – but a lot of people still think it’s just so much quicker to go round the wrong side!
Well that’s it - my circuitous 9 mile journey to work!
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